3 Reasons Every High School Reunion Should Happen At A Beer Garden
Last week, my sister and I took our kids to Knoebles Amusement Resort. (The K is most definitely not silent in Knoebles. I don’t know who made that decision and why they chose to be so reckless.)
In middle school, I went to Knoebles with my besties, sporting a side pony and matching tie-dye, I’m sure. My only confident memory of that trip is spinning on the ride called Gravitron, where centrifugal force smooshes you against the walls as the floor drops out, so you’re convinced death is imminent. As we spun into oblivion, the Fugee’s “Killing Me Softly” blasted over the speaker. Today the only way I’d get on that ride is if someone was actually killing me, so it seems like a fitting memory.
Last week at Knoebles, my sister and I bumped into one of our 2nd cousins. (3rd cousins? 2nd cousins once removed? I don’t know how that works.) I told her I hadn’t been to Knoebles in like 25 years. Gross. Referencing timestamps of more than 10 years is horrifying. Old people reminisce in terms of decades. Surely I’m not that old.
Apparently I am. Because a few weeks ago, I went to my 20-year high school reunion.
Somehow I ended up planning the event. Or at least quasi-planning it. Technically, I was the class VP back in 2002, so it makes sense that I had a hand in pulling things together.
A classmate started building the hype for a reunion back in February, and there seemed to be collective interest. Lots of Facebook comments and post-sharing. So it seemed like it could be a pretty big thing.
The commenters agreed on a date, and everyone marked their calendars. They just needed a venue. I casually suggested a beer garden near my house. Was it a selfish endeavor–organizing an event a few blocks from my house with zero planning required? Yeah, maybe. Still, I don’t want to toot my own horn, but it was kind of perfect.
And here’s why every high school reunion should happen at the Warehouse District Beer Garden:
The food and drinks are taken care of.
Obviously, a beer garden has alcohol, which seemed to be a prerequisite for planning a reunion. Mass meetups with people you knew back when the boys ate paste and the girls painted their faces orange and called it foundation will surely bring out the anxiety. (Yes, Autocorrect. “Ate pasta” would make more sense. But sometimes childhood and adolescence are a mystery.)
Anyway, having a drink in your hand might soften the squirming feeling in your stomach that you’re stepping into decisively awkward conversations with old acquaintances. I’m not saying you HAVE to drink—the food trucks have non-alcoholic options. And I’m obviously not promoting getting sloppy. That’s not a good look on anyone, especially when you’re trying to convince former classmates that you’ve grown up since your paste-eating days.
I don’t know what actual high school reunions do for food, but the movies make it seem like they have fancy hors d'oeuvres and a sit-down meal. I don’t need all of that. Who am I, the Queen of England? Beer gardens keep things fun and light with their food trucks. There’s no reason to put on airs as you dig into some BBQ or devour a plate of tacos. Good food always trumps fancy food, IMHO.
There’s lots of space to move around.
If you’re worried about being trapped in a small space with only a few molecules of oxygen separating the breath of your high school nemesis with your own, you can enjoy a sigh of relief. Beer gardens have lots of breathing room.
In fact, they have enough space for lawn games, like giant Jenga, corn hole, and Kan Jam. That means if talking isn’t your thing, maybe competing with old friends in a game of lawn darts will be more your speed.
They even have a sandbox, so if the babysitter bails at the last minute, you can just bring your kids along. There are #noexcuses for missing the reunion.
Or you can sit back and listen to the live music when your voice needs a break from all that talking. (I actually lost my voice after the reunion because I’m not used to yammering for FOUR hours straight. I should have trained for the marathon of conversations.)
One final perk about the vastness of the venue is that you can do an Irish goodbye with zero guilt. So once you fill up on all the latest post-high-school gossip and how-many-kids-do-you-have conversations, just quietly slip out the exit, and everyone will assume you hopped in line for another drink. We’re just glad you came.The planning part is as stress-free as it gets.
In case you haven’t picked up on this little tidbit, planning a reunion at a beer garden takes ZERO effort. Okay, maybe a microscopic-sized effort…like making sure they’re open, they’ll have food trucks, etc. But most of that can be done by stalking their Instagram page. You just pick a date, everyone shows up, people pay for whatever food/drinks they want, and everyone has a good time.
You don’t have to rent a venue, pre-sell tickets, worry endlessly about whether enough people will come to cover the cost, stress about catering options or dietary restrictions or the millions of other things you’ll need to consider. It’s easy. Like why aren’t more events happening at beer gardens?
From start to finish, the night was perfect. It was fun, relaxed, and stress-free. And did I mention there were fireworks at the end of the night because the Barnstormers had a home game across the street? The timing was perfect.
It was fun catching up with familiar faces and slipping into easy conversations with people I’ve known for years but haven’t seen in ages. Everyone looked the same as I remembered. There must have been something in the water. Probably all that pink fluoride we had to swish in 5th grade.
It’s weird how everyone was the same as I remembered, and yet somehow we were all totally different. Grown up, I guess. Maybe we were all just living version 1.0 of ourselves before, and the upgrades over twenty years included some pretty solid perks, most notably more confidence.
So if it’s time for your next reunion, a beer garden is your best bet.
Or you can mark your calendar and meet us at the Warehouse District Beer Garden next June for our first anniversary of our 20-year reunion.
We’d be happy to see you.
